


Challenges and troubles

by pain_and_panic



Category: Winx Club
Genre: Crossdressing, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Past Abuse, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4376036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pain_and_panic/pseuds/pain_and_panic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In hindsight I should have known that this challenge would have bring trouble.</p><p>I mean, how can finish well a challenge started as “Let’s dress as girls and see who can spend more time with the Winx without them understand who we are"?<br/>And no, Sky, the fact that we are studying disguising technique does not justify it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, that is the english version of my other fic "sfide e guai".  
> I will keep translating it, if I get any feedback on it...
> 
> I did not own winx club, nor its characters.

In hindsight I should have known that this challenge would have bring trouble.

I mean, how can finish well a challenge started as “Let’s dress as girls and see who can spend more time with the Winx without them understand who we are"?  
And no, Sky, the fact that we are studying disguising technique does not justify it.

And no, Timmy, define it as "a sociological experiment aimed to determine which stereotypes on the sex are true” will not make the girls more charitable when they will find out that they have been deceived. But then, again, none of you are engaged with Stella, who is a viper in a good day and a bit more poisonous in a bad one.

We gave ourselves five days time, nearly one each, not to make them suspicious. No one knows when the others will have a go, only that from now to the end of the week, we all will have to try disguise us as girls. I envy Nabu that, not being in the city, will be saved from all this.

My plan is to get it out of my mind as soon as possible, before the girls start to understand to be surrounded by disguised specialists.

That's why I'm here today, with the painful shoes and a skirt that let in the air where the air should not access. And let's not forget the wig ... I could swear to have more hair in my mouth than on my head.

Miserable is the word that I would use to describe myself.

The girls are sitting at a table in a bar, resting before go back to their shopping, and I just have to move from behind the bush I’m hiding behind and approach them. That’s turned out to be harder than expected…

When I'm about to move, here a person approaches them. Person? A goddess. She is beautiful, and when she starts talking I have to give everything to not drooling.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where is the shopping centre?"

Stella began a long dissertation on how to get to two different shopping centres, and how one is better than the other, except for that little shop in the second one, that has always so cute stuff, made by an emerging stylist ...

The girl responds with a joke about her poor sense of direction, that today she already got lost twice to go from the train station to the metro, which are in the same building but on two different floors. She blushes, embarrassed by her own clumsiness, and with one hand she smooths the skirt of the light,aquamarine dress she is wearing. And no, I’m not looking at the length of the skirt, high over the knee, or as the lightweight fabric let glimpse of her shapely thighs. I got engaged, so I’m not fixing her legs. But I’m human, and I cannot help but admire how the dress color enhances the purple of her eyes.

And then the blush on his cheekbones intensifies, and looking down she asks “Could you lead me there?”

Bloom is the first to jump up and say that yes, there is no problem, that they were going there anyway. Count on Bloom to take any pups or stray that passes next to her!

And then they start, the six Winx and the beautiful stranger, and I follow them from nearby.

Chatting amicably as they walk, and so I find out that the beautiful stranger came to Magix recently, and that her only friend here is out of town for a while, and so it felt a little bit alone and was thinking that shopping would lifts her spirits, but it only remind her more how strongly she misses her friend, who usually assumes the honor to lead her around so that her will not get lost! The story is easy going, but there is a fragility in her face when she turns to answer Laila that yes, she knows other people here, but sometimes she’s not sure she belong to the group, that she get herself completely integrated.

And to this the girls suggest her to join them throughout the afternoon, and a part of me wonders if the girl just manipulated them in doing what she wanted, but that fragility no, cannot be faked. And all this seems innocent enough, and in any case I’m following them and if things should go south, I could certainly help.

I almost forgot my mission today, and than a clumsily disguised Timmy makes his appearance. The wig is crooked, the make-up asymmetrical and of the wrong color, and dress emphasizes all the wrong things as the absence of breast and the width of the shoulders.

Needless to say, the poor Timmy is put to flight in few minutes ...

The stranger raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow and said "I'm not sure of what just happened ..."

The girls laugh and comment that Timmy probably has just lost some kind of bet. Apparently Sky was in the same situation this morning, but managed to appear convincing for a little more time, at least till the moment he opened his mouth.

She laughs, and that makes her long magenta hair dance around her cheeks in soft waves.

I wonder if they are silky to the touch as they appear. Brandon, no, you're engaged!

They end up in the emerging stylist shop, and the guy falls in love with beautiful stranger. I see it in his eyes. And no, I can not be jealous, I must not, I should not ... The type introduce himself with a bow and kiss her hand, and with this he earns a chuckle and the name of the red haired girl. And my eternal hatred. Ok, yes, I am jealous. I do not know her, I do not know who her is, but the fragility that she showed before moved something in me. He must have moved something in Musa as well, because the music fairy puts protectively her arm around the waist of Rika, (who is the nickname for Erica but that was the name of her grandmother), and drags her away from the designer.

Rika thanks her, and adds something else that I can not hear form the distance, but makes Musa laugh. The two begin to snoop around at the clothes as they continue to chat and wait for Stella to finish trying the mountain of clothes she brought with her into the dressing room. Musa passes Rika a black dress with something that from here looks like small pink and magenta flowers, and pushes her to the mirror behind which I’m hiding.

I pretend to be inspecting the clothes close to me, but I still keep an eye on them, and so I assist to the swirl of emotions that dances on Rika’s face when she looks in the mirror: In a first moment her eyes widen in surprise, as if she wasn’t expecting her image, and a moment later one corner of her mouth lifts in an half smile. And then, like a flash, a thought cross her mind, and she frowns, and her eyes fill of sadness, and the fragility that struck me first come back on her expression. But soon she takes a deep breath and looks away, and her face hardens into something different, and this sudden force that she’s projecting now is even more intriguing for me than the previous fragility.

And then her eyes meet mine, and there is like a recognition in her eyes. She turns and whispers something in Musa’s ear, who turns to look at me and bursts out a laugh. How is it even possible that I lasted less than Timmy? And how did Rika discover me?

Before I can give voice to these questions, an explosion shakes the mall. Three witches flying in the building from the hole they have just created in the ceiling, and they point to the magic shop in front of me.

The Winx transform and start to attack them, and I engage fight with the goblins that accompany them. Or at least I try. I’m actually just stumbling in my shoes and at the end I fall, and as a goblin approaches to finish me, a purplish saber stabs it. And Rika, wielding the sword, apostrophe me with her melodious voice "Brandon, we don’t have all day, can you walk?" Her voice is melodious, but also a bit lower than what it was a few minutes ago.

And then it strikes me: violet eyes, the hardness in the face in an effort not to show weakness, the purplish saber... Rika just won the challenge, and has cheated me too.

Rika is Riven.


	2. Chapter 1 (let's start with a bit of angst)

After our dress-up adventure three weeks ago, things went from bad to worse.  
Most of the time Riven is even more irritable than usual, but then, when he thinks no one is watching, he has these moments of pure melancholy, and I do not know if this fragility has always been there, and I needed Rika to recognize it, or if this experience has triggered something in him, but either way, I’m beginning to being worried for Riven.

I'm here alone thinking about my roommate, about how I wish I could fight his demons for him, when Sky comes into our room carrying in his arms the subject of my thoughts.

Riven has one of Sky’s arm behind his back, and the other under his knees, and his head is supported only by Sky' shoulder. But what bothers me the most is Riven's arm, hanging at his side pale and lifeless.  
Sky places him gently on the bed, and remains at his side with Riven’s hand in his own.  
"I thought a little challenge would have lifted his mood ... You know, just him, I and our swords, only to distract him from whatever is bothering him ..." Sky says with a whisper.  
So he noticed something. "Sky, what happened?"  
"We were sparring, and he just fainted ... And, oh Brandon, I don’t know how I didn’t notice before, but he’d lost a lot of weight, look at him!”  
Ok, so he noticed even more things than me ... Yes, now that Sky point it out, Riven seems thinner. Especially his shoulders and arms that used to be muscular and defined, now they have lost part of their mass. I think that right now Timmy get arms more fitted and pumped than him ...  
"What are you doing to yourself, mate?” Sky’s whisper reflects my thoughts.  
Riven chooses this moment to stir and wake up.  
"Mmm ... Sky, what happened?" Riven asks, or rather mumbles, as he tries to sit.  
"Stay down. When did you eat last?" My tone is harder than what I want, and I regret it when Riven register my words, and something wrong passes through his eyes, as if he were afraid of something, of us ... It lasts only a moment, and then he tighten his jaw and his eyes get harder and colder.  
"Leave me alone, this is none of your business!" And with this he leaves the room, staggering a bit to get to the door.  
Sky beside me sighed, "we must do something to help him…”

_____

Two days are passed, and it’s Saturday again. The girls arrived at Red Fountain, and come to the living room of the apartment I share with Tim Sky and Riven.  
Stella comes in and goes straight to Riven. "Get ready," she says with that dangerous smile that means the Winx are planning something. "We girls are going to do some shopping, and we want Rika come out and play with us."

Riven looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Oh, well, we're all pretty shocked by Stella outburst. The expression of Riven changes into something more vexed and dangerous. "It's not funny," growls my friend.

“It didn’t want to be," is Laila response. "We all had fun with Rika, and I don’t know, I’m under the impression that you had been more open with us in those few hours than you've done in the last two years," Laila is almost reproachfully, and so she gains a nudge from Bloom and a glare from Musa. "You know that's true," murmurs the brunette princess.  
The discussion goes on a little longer, but eventually the girls win, and Stella, bored from waiting, simply transforms Riven clothes in Rika ones.

_____

The girls come back here only in the evening, each one carrying several bags, and even pizza for everyone. Rika, Bloom and Flora are the latest and they enter giggling together at anything Stella did before entering.

I never saw Rika giggle. Well, not even Riven. It was a long time since I'd seen my friend smiling so relaxed. "Looks like someone had good time at the end!" I comment looking at her. The only answer I get is a guilty look. Rika / Riven takes off his wig and drops it on the ground, next to the shopping bags forgotten at his feet. With a sigh he crosses the room and disappears in the bedrooms area. After that the only sounds in the apartment are a couple of doors slamming in the distance and the shower water flowing.

When I look away from the door where Riven is disappeared, I realize that everyone is staring at me, "no, no compliments Brandon! It only took the whole day to make him relax, did you have to ruin everything?" Musa’s angry hiss is the only thing that breaks the silence. "I didn’t mean ... I ... I think I'm going to wait for him in our room, to talk to him ..." And with that I leave the room. I hear them call my name, and after Sky asks if the girls were able to get him to eat something, and Bloom responds affirmatively.

Maybe it's because I'm focused trying to hear what is happening in the living room, or on figuring out what I should say to Riven to apologize, or maybe it's just because I haven’t turned on the light in the hallway and the only lights are those that seep in from under the door of the living room and from my room, but in any case I don’t notice that my friend just came out from the bathroom, and I end up on almost tripping him.  
My body is faster than my mind, and so when I process what happened, he is safe in my arms. His chest is pressed against mine, his arms trapped between our bodies, and my arms are wrapped around his waist. He is naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist, and fortunately he’s avoiding my gaze, and the corridor is dark enough, or he would notice that my face is on fire.  
His arms trying to push me away, but I know his strength, and I know that if he really wanted to, he would have already freed himself.

I clear my throat, and whisper, "I'm sorry"  
"All right, you can let me go now" is his embarrassed answer.  
"No, I ... I wanted to apologize .."  
Riven raises an eyebrow "You already did ..."  
"NO! I mean, no, I wanted to apologize for before, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I'm glad you had fun with the girls ..."  
He sighs, "I shouldn’t have fun. I shouldn’t enjoy to go around dressed as a woman, is wrong," he whispers.

"There's nothing wrong! If it makes you feel good, if you're enjoying it, that's fine. No one judges you, or think less of you for this,” I say with conviction, but whispering. There is no one else in the corridor, and the winx and other specialists wouldn’t be able to hear us from the other room even if we were talking at normal volume, but it seems better this way, as if, if we were talking at normal volume, the magic atmosphere of this moment would disappear.

His answer is a sigh and an inarticulate noise that seems almost a sob, and my right hand leaves his waist and go to caress his face, and to force him to look at me.  
The dim light it's enough to let me see that his eyes are bright with unshed tears. "Riven, everything's fine, there's nothing wrong, it's all right ..." I press my forehead against his own and I keep repeating the same phrase over and over.

He is crying now. In a silent way that hurts my heart and makes me tighten my grip around his waist. His hands stopped pushing me away, and now they are clinging to my shirt. I hold him, and kiss his forehead gently, trying to comfort him as much as I can.

He looks up to this, and our lips are just few centimeters apart, and then he tilts his head to give me more access.

And suddenly the door to the living room opens the light goes on, and I hear Sky emit a surprised "oh".

I turn my head to meet his gaze, and at the same time I try to hide Riven from his sight with my body.

Years of friendship with Sky allow us to communicate without words.

/ How is he? / He asks through a flick of his eyebrows  
/ Could be better / is the answer of my face  
/ Do you need help? /  
/ No, I have everything under control /  
He nods and goes into the bathroom, and I gently drive Riven in our room and on his bed.  
I help him to wear the t-shirt and shorts that he uses as pjs, and I drive him under the blankets. When I start to walk away he grabs my wrist, and seems ready to ask me to stay. But then he sighs and lets me go without saying anything.  
I wear my pajamas, and go back to his bed.

I ignore his puzzled look and I join him under the covers.  
"It's all right," I say again, "there's nothing wrong with you, sleep now ..."

It’s barely nine o'clock, but he seems worn out, and when I drive his head on my shoulder he simply shuts his eyes and murmurs a thank you before falling asleep.

I kiss his forehead again, and try to get some sleep as well.

It’s four in the morning when Riven nightmares wake me up.


	3. Chapter2 (more angst, but also romance)

It's been a month since the nightmares began.  
Riven refuses to tell me what happens in his dreams, but I heard him calling for his father, and apologizing for something... Sometimes the nightmares wake him up, and he cannot go back to sleep. Sometimes he shakes and writhing in his bed, unable to wake up and so of escaping to the nightmare, and in those cases, all I can do is slip into his bed and wrap him with my arms till he calms down. This means that more than once I woke up the next morning still in his bed.

He always looks surprised that I'm trying to help him, as if he wasn't used to getting helped, and I'm wondering more and more what kind of friend I was if after two and an half years he doesn't know that he can count on my help.

Another question that haunts me is if what I feel for him is just a desire to protect a brother, or whether I'm falling for him ...  
But no, I'm engaged with Stella, I have no interest in boys, I've never had.

So here I am, in my girlfriend's room, pretending to listen while she talks of a new dress. My attention wanders, until I realize that in the next room, the one that Tecna divides with Musa, the music fairy and her boyfriend are talking.

"So I think today is a 'Rika' day" I hear the dark haired girl say.  
"How you can tell?" Asks Riven.  
"Your way of walking is more undulating, yours voice's softer, and you're avoiding to look at yourself in the mirrors ..."  
"Is it so noticeable?" His tone is soft and guilty.  
"Only if you know where to watch" I can feel the smile of Musa in her words, and her desire to reassure the redhead in every way.

Riven mutters something that sounds like "I always Wondered how he ever realized that"  
"Who?" Musa asks reflecting my thoughts.  
Meanwhile I approach the wall, I know I shouldn't eavesdrop, but It seems like that kind of moment where a big secret is about to be revealed, and perhaps I will learn something more about this that will help me to help him.  
Stella gives me a questioning look, but then, when she realizes what's going on, she joins me with an excited yelp that sounds pretty like "gossip come to me."

Meanwhile Riven started what looks like a confession: "this Thing, this waking up some days with the feeling that my body is wrong, it is not new ...

When I was five, our neighbors had twin children of my same age, Jason and Janet.  
I spent whole afternoons playing with them ....

Some days with Jason we played cops and robbers, or to be knights of the round table.

Some days I preferred to play with Janet and her dolls. She had this basket of clothes, and she let me dress like a princess.  
One day her mother found us with her clothes on and our faces smeared with her makeup.

I am ... I'm sure she was trying to help, by telling that to my father ...

My father ... He's an old-fashioned man, he cannot understand this Thing ... Or maybe he's right, and I'm a sick puppy and a pervert ... "

"No, it's your father who has problems Riv. There is nothing perverse or sick in you, ok?" Musa is quick to reassure him. But when Riven starts talking again, it's become clear that he didn't believe her.

"He tried to 'fix me' and 'cure me from my perversion'.  
It started with ust fling abuse at me, telling me that due to my sick behavior she'd left us ... Who would want to stay with a son like me? Sometimes he force me into the closet for days ... Then it started to get worse ...  
He seemed to always know when I felt more 'Rika' that 'Riven', perhaps even then there was something in my way of walking, and then he yelled at me horrible things, and he had this bat, because he said he didn't want to touch someone like me, and those times I ended up in the closet with a broken rib or a dislocated shoulder ... I just wanted to be normal, you know? To make him prouds, to make him forgets that I was wrong ... to make him forgives me for making the woman he loved leave... And so I began to pretend that Rika didn't exist, that being a boy every day was fine ... "

God, I'd give anything to go there and to hug him. And to ask him where to find his father, to teach at that bastard better than to beat an helpless child.

My gaze falls on Stella, her jaw is clenched, and her knuckles are white from how strong is tightening her fists, and I remember her so angry only when she thought her father was going to remarry.

My attention goes back to the other room where Musa is saying something that I can not hear, and Riven responds in the same soft way.

"Anyway, he's not here, and we wouldn't allow him to hurt you even if he was" the music fairy tries to reason with him with a little higher voice.

"But it is like he is here, he haunts my nights and Brandon presence is the only thing that seems to hold him off." It is my friend's humble response. That answer, I must admit, warms my heart more than it suppose to do.

"Ah, yes, Brandon ... he seems very protective of you," Musa teases him, and I feel sheepish.

"Muusaa, stop ..." But the music fairy successfully managed to distract him from his sad journey into his past.  
"Oh, are you blushing? You're having a little crush on your roommate, aren't you?" Musa continues unabated. But then her tone changes, and I wonder what she has seen on Riven face to justify the next sweetness "Riv?"

"I know it's wrong, he's a friend, and engaged to a friend of mine, and Stella is always so good to me, to 'Rika', and I shouldn't think of him that way, but have you'd notice his arms? And the shoulders ... Mm, apparently I got a soft spot for men with muscular arms and lips and butt defined ... "

Musa chuckles, Stella giggles and I feel embarrassed and strangely excited by it all.

"As long as you look but not touch, I don't there will be any issue for Stella ...

...

Riv? "

"..."

"..."

"......"

"Ri-iiv! There was nothing between the two of you, right?" Musa doesn't seem too worried, nor jealous for that ... It seems more a friend in search of gossip than a girlfriend. But then, considering that their continuous break and get back together, maybe right now she isn't his girlfriend. The thought seems to take a weight from my soul, but then the weight come back when I think that, on the other hand, Stella is certainly my girlfriend, and I'm thinking at someone else.

"Well ..." Riven answer is hesitant and Stella beside me stiffens "I'm sure he didn't mean anything, he was just trying to be nice and to comfort me ... But for me it was the first time a guy kissed me, and it was oh, so chaste and tender, and I feel so stupid to give importance to something so small and insignificant ..." And now it's back, again there, that fragility that impressed me so much the first time that I met him as 'Rika'. I can very well imagine him now, wide-eyed and defenses down, shrugging and embracing himself.

And I would like to go there and tell him that even if I hadn't double purposes at that time, that kiss was special for me as well.  
I also would go there and kiss him for real, with tongue and teeth and everything else.  
I would go there and tell him that I will fight with him against his demons and his nightmares.

I would go, but something holds me back. That something is a very angry, very jealous fairy of the sun and moon.

I'm doomed.


	4. Chapter 3 (short and unpretentious)

Eventually I persuaded Stella that the kiss meant nothing. And anyway, kiss is a big word, it was a chaste brush of lips before Sky interrupted us. But I’m sort of avoiding to say so to her.

In any case, after the discussion she has started to look my moves like a hawk. And I wonder why I'm trying to save this relationship. But then, on the other hand, my parents taught me to deal with the problems, not to run away when things get tough.  
And Riven has enough on his plate without my doubts about him and Stella.

Stella amazes me though, because in the pass she woulds get angry with Riven, and instead now she looks at him with pity, not jealousy.

And Riven ... He spent almost two weeks as Riven, but today his pace gets Rika’ swing. Musa’s right, it’s easy to see the difference if you know where to look.

So, it's Friday, the classes are over, and we're bringing the girls out to dance.  
None of us said anything Riven came out of the room with a light turquoise dress, tight at the waist. It’s a really nice dress and it leaves bare a significant part of the legs and arms. And the make up too…. I think the Stella is giving her lessons, because if before the make-up was good, now looks like a expert put it up for her. Her long hair, a wig exactly the same color as her natural one, tonight are pinned on one side with a turquoise flower.

Coming out of the dormitory, a couple of students from another year have commented, with whistles and giggles, her clothing, but the Sky’s growl and the warner look from Helia seem to have been sufficient to put everyone back to their places.  
Perhaps the presence of Codatorta and Saladin helped too. The headmaster's face was priceless, he had two eyes as big as saucers. Rika then brought two fingers to his forehead in a mock of salute, and greeted both with a "Professors ..." and a grimace. Helia’s grandfather tried to answer, but all that came from him was a series of "but ... but ... Riven ... when? ... How?" Codatorta just drove him away adding “Let them being, they're young! Guys enjoy! "  
and then, as an afterthought, he added: "Riven, you're beautiful tonight. Do not get yourself in trouble! "

Since the meeting, Rika had a chagrined look on her face and I, even if I had decided to keep distance, for his own good and for Stella’s one, I find myself caressing her bare arm in a way that I hope is reassuring .

She smiles at me grateful, but she does not relax completely until we are far from Red Fountain and in view of Alfea. Or maybe she’s still tense, because Musa sends us a questioning look.

Anyway we arrived at the club, a pretty chic one, and with a huge queue at the entrance.  
The girls titter and giggle. Apparently the bouncer is looking at them, and they are all winking and smiling. All apart Rika, Flora and Tecna, who are competing in who is more embarrassed by the others behavior.  
But the bouncer approaches, and looking straight at Rika says, 'Hey beauty, can I offer you a drink when I’ll finish the shift? "

Rika is so surprised that at first looks behind herself to make sure that the huge guy is talking with her. Then, also thanks to Aisha nudge, she smiles back shyly and tilts her head to look from below, flapping her eyelashes in a way that I can only define coquettish. "There is no way to let me and my friends in?” Coquettish. If there is a term that I’d never thought to associate with Riven, it's ‘coquettish'.

the guy swells even more the huge chest, and motions for us to go in the VIP queue. If at this time I could foresight that in the next hours I will have to see twenty people flirt with Rika, I would ask everyone to leave behind the slimy brute and go home.  
Instead I follow the group, and step in one hour of hell.

I’m dancing with Stella, but with one eye always on Rika. At a certain point I see her in trouble with a guy who separates her from the group and towards the bathrooms. I am going to stop him, but a dark boy act before me. It is tall and well-proportioned, with dark skin highlighted by a white shirt easy worn over light colored jeans.

I watch them, and I see how the guy starts to flirt with her, and how she arches her back and tilts her face to the side in a playful manner. And coquettish. For the second time. If I could be honest with myself I would recognize that maybe I’m jealous. But honesty is overrated.

In any case, Stella distracts me, telling me something that with loud music I cannot understand, and so I lose sight of them. I would run to find them, but Stella drags me to the bar to get something to drink.

I will not see her again before one hour, and she will be beautiful, a little 'disheveled and with her cheeks flushed, I hope just for the dance. I'll see her sitting at the table we occupied, busy gossiping animatedly with Musa, as if she had gone for an hour.  
I'll see her holding a napkin folded like a rose, and I’ll seethe at the sight of the phone number scribbled on the leaf.


	5. Chapter 4 (is anyone even reading those titles?)

We came straight to Alfea after the school was over, and so we are all still in our uniforms. Then again, they are comfortable uniforms, I’m not saying they are not, but we could have a quick run to change ourself in something more comfortable. But NO! Sky was in a hurry, he had to speak to Bloom of who knows what, and so we are here in our sweaty uniforms.

Riven seems to be the more uncomfortable in that, so much uncomfortable that even Stella notices. Well, maybe she noticed more things than I did, because she end up transforming his clothes, and when she finished, beside me there is Rika.

Riven looks himself, caressing the long shirt (or maybe it's a minidress? Stella will kill me if she ever finds out I do not know the difference ...) and leggings, and he, now a she, smiles grateful to the blonde. "Thanks, I needed that!" “sure thing, and you know how to repay me ..."

We are sitting in the girls living room, someone on the sofas and someone, like me and Rika, on cushions scattered on the ground. Rika plays with the corner of her pillow and watches Stella with the most innocent expression, so innocent that I doubt that she is faking it ...  
"I do not know what you're talking about ..." Okay, yes, it was a fake, Rika is definitely messing with the blonde fairy.  
Stella throws a cushion to her and the red-hair responds sticking out her tongue. Now, last time I checked, these two didn’t like each other too much, but then again, Riven and Stella maybe do not like each other, but with Rika is another story.

“Come on! Spill it!” my girlfriend insists. But she’s interrupted by Bloom that enters the room running "no no no, wait, I want to hear the story!" "If you're done snogging with your boyfriend maybe we can start, right?" Musa intervenes. I look around, to see if I’m the only one with no clue of what’s going on, but apparently all the boys are as puzzled as I am. Well, apart from Riven, but right now he plays for the other team, so he, she doesn’t count ... Riven, or rather Rika, is embracing the pillow that Stella had threw her, and bites her lower lip embarrassed. Brandon, no, don’t dare starts drooling ...

"Well?" Prompt Musa and Stella in chorus. What the hell is going on here?

"Then we went out for dinner, nothing special ..." Rika tries to make it short. No, wait, he said dinner? With who?  
"Rika, sweetheart, details!" Stella cues urgently.  
“Details ... It's older than us, and he already works, I think he’s a lawyer, but he didn’t want to talk about that… He has a passion for fast cars and he build boats in his basement for hobby. But maybe that one was only a way to invite me into his house ... "  
"Did you go to his house?!?" Musa is shocked and worried  
"No ... I told him that I would go another time… Anyway, I can defend myself, you know? I’m suppose to be a specialist after all…”

"Musa is right, a bit of prudence is in order…” It’s the shy contribution form Flora. And maybe now she is Rika, the frail and shy girl, but deep down she still being Riven, with his pride and stubbornness, and so he outburst "yes right, in fact I didn’t go, did I?”

"Okay, but how the evening ended?" Stella decides to go back on the main subject, even perhaps to dispel the tension.  
“He brought me back here, and he kissed me on the door ..." Rika blushed at this, and I keep telling myself that I'm not jealous.

"Sorry Rika, what do you mean with ‘here’?” Musa's eyes are two slit, as she was preparing to be pissed off. Probably it's the first time that I see this expression since the thing with Rika started, but in retrospect this is her typical expression for discussing (or arguing) with Riven.  
"I did not have the heart to tell him the truth, so I ask him to took me here to Alfea .... When he left I walked back to Red Fountain..."

"You know that you'll regret it, right? You should know that you can’t start a relationship with a lie" Bloom’s paternalistic tone is the one I know will piss Riven, but surprisly is Laila who intervenes: "everyone lies on the first date, and this is not exactly a easy subject to deal with, so leave her alone!"

"How can you even say such a thing? 'Look, I'm sorry, I would have a penis'? I’m not sure if it's much better to start a story with something like that ..." Rika is smiling, but her eyes are sad, and a bit frightened.

"The real question is: are you ready for a story?" Musa asks softly. / NO, she’s not / is what I want to cry out loud, but it's not my place ...

"Maybe? I do not know ... I would like just to see how it goes ... He ... He understands me like few people have done ... Present excluded, obviously ..."

"Obviously," Laila repeats, with a mixture of sadness and disbelief. I know what’s Laila thinking, that in fact, apart from Musa and perhaps Nabu, we never really understood him. And probably we never even try. And now that we’re finally listening, we are finally realizing how fragile he is. I wonder how many times we hurt him without realizing it?

"Rika, you have to tell him!" Musa insists. And Rika looks at the ground, crushing the pillow in her arms. "And if after that he will be disgusted by me?” Before Musa or anyone else could say anything, the door opens, and "Surprise!" exclaims Nabu entering "I came to visit you!" And then he looks at Rika doubtful.

The redhead looks frightened, and in a moment Musa’s arms are around her to comfort her. "Riven?" the magician asks doubtfully, kneeling in front of his friend, Laila, whom he come to meet, completely forgotten.

Rika is looking to the ground, and Nabu bends to meet her gaze. "Hey, Riv?" and out of the blue the red-hair moves suddenly, and jumps to hug his best friend and almost make him trips over, and she keeps repeating like a mantra "don’t be disgusted, please, I'm sorry, don’t be angry, I’m so sorry for this… Please don’t be disgusted ... "again and again, and I think he's hyper-ventilating, and I don’t know what to do.

But then Nabu extricates himself from Rika’s embrace and puts one hand on her cheek and with the other hand he leads the redhead hand to his chest: "Shh, it's all right Riv, now I need you to breathe with me, Riv ok? It's all right, just, breathe in through the nose .... very good, now exhale from the mouth ... so good, just inhales and exhales .... ... shh, it's all right, I'm here, I'm here, everything is all right, okay? "

Laila approaches to help, but the fairy of the music stops her, "don’t touch him, her, not now, or you'll just make her feel worse." Musa tone is quiet, a bit sad perhaps, but certainly not surprised by the panic attack. When Riven begins to calm down, then she starts to rub his back.

And then it strikes me. Nabu and Muse, they know exactly what to do, how to calm Riven in the middle of a panic attack. How many times have they calmed him down in this way? How many times have they had to do that?

Nabu smiles sweetly to his best friend, and moves a lock of hair from her face behind her ear, “so that's what you didn’t want to tell me over the phone?"

Rika just nods, embarrassed by the previous panic. She keeps her eyes fixed on her hands in her lap, and stiff her shoulders as if to prepare for been hit. But then she relaxes them when Nabu hugs her, and she sighs in relief.

Rika will fall asleep in that embrace in less than an hour and Nabu will refuse to let her go, or to let us helping him to carry her to the bed. But noo, I'm not jealous.


	6. Chapter 5 (nope, no one is reading them)

I took Stella for a weekend off. Or rather, my conscience made me bring Stella out for the weekend. And it was terrible. There were more embarrassing moments in these two days throughout the first month together, when we’re turning around trying to understand one another.  
At the end she asked me to come back to Magix earlier, and I cannot deny that I felt better for this request. We came to Fonterossa, and Stella continues to look at me as if waiting for something, but it was her idea to come here ...

At the end she seems tired of waiting, and as we enter the living room she begins: "I wonder when you'll grown a pair and do it ..."  
I’m going to ask what she means when a groan attracts our attention.  
At the table that we generally use to study is sitting Nabu, and with him is Riven, whom is kneeling before him, his back to us.

For a moment I think we just interrupted something NSFW, but then Nabu groans again, and Riven scold him saying "quit being a baby"

"But it burns!" Is the answer, petulant, from Nabu.

"Yes, but let me clean the wound, okay? I’m almost done…” Although the tone is hard, it contains an undertone of sweetness, and even of amusement.

"Guys, what happens?" Stella investigates.  
At this Riven turns, and I can see that in his hands he has Nabu right hand, and he’s cleaning the magician’s grazed knuckles. But what strikes me most is the bruise on Riven left cheekbone, and the corresponding split lip.

“What the h….?” Before I can finish to externalize my astonishment, Stella jumps the gun "Nabu, how you dare hitting him? pick on someone your own size! I’m going to show you ... "

Her rant is interrupted by Riven giggling.  
“I never had so many people so ready to defend my honor ..."  
"Riven ..." Stella begins with a sad sigh, but she doesn’t know how to continue ... Will we ever get him to believe that we care about him, and we will defend him in spite of everything?  
But Riven continues to giggle, although his eyes are sad and bloodshot, as if he had been crying. "First of all, I AM his size, and anyway Nabu didn’t beat me, but he went, white horse and shining armor and any other cliché on the charming princes, he went, I said, to punish and avenge the insult suffered by my sweet innocent face ... "

"Yeah, only to find out that you had already avenged yourself ..." "What can I say? I am an independent girl! Ad that didn’t prevented you from shatter your hand against his face ..." Riven is ironic and sarcastic, brilliant and sad and, oh, how I wish I could embrace him.

Meanwhile, Stella seems to reflect on the situation, and she’s still angry but uncertain about who she should direct this anger. "Let me see ... I'll leave you two days alone, and you go and and get your face massacred? Tell me that wasn’t Guy!"  
Now, who the hell is Guy?  
"Bloom and Musa insisted that I had to tell the truth ... They are usually good at these things ... I mean, when it seemed that Sky was returning with Diaspro, Bloom has managed to win him back, despite everything ... On the other hand I’d never managed to get someone to love me that way ... And I’d thought that perhaps following their suggestion would have changed something and ... "And Riven seems close to tears now, and he’s there, on the floor between Nabu’s legs, and the magician slides off the chair and crouches behind him and hugs him from behind. "Shhh, it's okay, you do not need that homofobic bastard ... It's all right ..."

Stella takes a step forward, while I am frozen in place, and all I can think is that he is suffering again and again are not able to do anything.

Riven sobs and he frees an hand from the grip of the magician to cover his mouth. When the tears start he apologizes. And then Stella moves and in less than a second is on the floor with them, and Riven is crying on her shoulder while she strokes his hair.

This time, when it’s time to go to sleep, Nabu accepts help to lift an half asleep Riven. Tonight we will sleep in Riven’s bed, all the four of us, and even if there will not be enough room to be comfortable, and I barely manage to avoid falling off the edge, none of us will complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, Winx characters don't belong to me, and this thingy is not betad. And English is not my mother tongue. If anyone wanna volunteer as beta reader, they will have my eternal gratitude.


	7. chapter 6 (I love stella in this story)

“I wonder how it's going ..." Bloom says looking out the window in the direction of Red Fountain.

“Do you think we should have stayed there?" Asks doubtfully Sky.

"No, they needed to be alone ..." Flora responds categorically.

The three are talking in the Winx’s living room. We're not all here, because Muse is with her father, and Laila and Nabu went out together of a date. And I have no idea where Riven could be. We're not all here, but out of all the present, I’m not the only left out of the loop: are been days since those three start exchanging these half phrases, this sort of riddle suspended in the air without subjects. I think that Helia is involved, but I know for sure.

Certainly Stella is not involved, and eventually her curiosity wins: “What you are plotting the four of you?"

"We organized a surprise for Riven. The poor boy is stressed out, and seems be hard for him to accept this new part of himself, so we organize something that will help him ... "

Flora seems very pleased with herself, but I can not help but think about how would react my roommate if he ears them call him 'poor boy’.

"From his nightmares seems clear that the problem is in his father acceptance" intervenes Sky, "so we organized a meeting between the two of them”

Oh God, tell me that I misunderstood that ...

"You have left Riven alone with his father?!?!" Asks Stella, but the question sounds like a growl.

"Stella, what's the problem?" Bloom is the first to recover from the surprise at the tone of her friend.

"What's the problem?? You do not know shit, that's what the problem is. You do not know shit and you think you are better than others and it is the second time you messed up everything! " I blurt, because if at first the idea of Riven alone with his father froze me, now my anger makes me blood boil.

"No time for that," Stella said putting a hand on my arm. I realize just now that in her other hand she’s holding her scepter, and in a moment we're all in our living room in Red Fountain.

I expected that things would be bad, but I was not ready for this.

 

I was not ready to find Riven lying on the floor, unconscious, with this man, this beast that should be his father, astride him, with his hands clasped around Riven’s throat. I was not ready absolute expression of anger on the face of the man, nor the emptiness in the pale face of my friend.

Then I lose track of time and space. The next thing I know is that Sky is pulling me away from the battered face of Riven’s father, but I still able to kick him in the ribs on last time. Sky lift me bodily away from the corner where I pushed the monster, and turns me so that I cannot see him. But in doing so I am now facing Riven, still lying on the ground. Riven, and Timmy who this time is astride him. Timmy, who count to thirty, compressing the chest of Riven every time, with Tecna that, kneeling next to the head of Riven, at the 'thirty' pinches Riven’s nose and blows twice in his mouth.

When I try to get close to them, my legs turn in jelly, and eventually give way, and I find myself kneel, watching helplessly as Timmy starts another cycle. And then another.

But then Riven coughs, and it seems that everyone in the room begin to breathe again.

Timmy feels the neck, confirming the presence of the heartbeat, and then turn him gently on its side. 'Recovery position' provides uselessly my brain, which seems wrapped in cotton. The arrival of the paramedics, the ambulance ride, the questions of the Templars of Roccaluce, the paramedic who wraps my hands, Musa breathless arrival, us waiting for news from the doctor Riven ...

 

When the doctor arrives, and asks for Riven’s family, we all stand up together. Codatorta explains the situation, and the doctor began to explain that Riven has regained consciousness only recently, and that there appears to not present any brain’s damage, or trachea’s one, but that they will keep him under observation for a few days. He also tells us that he had requested a psychiatric consultation, because the event was certainly traumatic and Riven will need support to overcome the shock.

After that, the doctor leaves us free to go to our friend.

It strikes me there, I've almost beaten to death his father and perhaps Riven will not see me. The thought takes my breath away, and I need to sit there in the hallway, just outside his door.

Sky and Stella hunch down next to me, but then, I do not know, maybe they communicate silently over my head, because Sky gives me a pat on the shoulder and enters Riven’s room with others.

Stella is rubbing my back in slow circles, and when she begins to speak, her voice is full of understanding and sweetness. "You saved his life, you know?"

"No, Tim and Tecna saved his life, I almost killed his father." I say softly.

"Brandon, you were the one who take that bastard away, allowing Timmy to start rescuing Riven. And if you think that Riven will be mad at you, you're wrong. He is in love with you, and you with him "

"Stella, I ..." I try to stop her, but I do not know how to continue.

"I was hoping you grows a pair and do it, but instead it seems it's my turn to break with you. You are stealing away my opportunity of having a week of cheesy movies and buckets of ice cream, the full post-break deal, because those belong to those who get dump, but it’s okay ... "she smiles sweet, sad and self-deprecating, and I feel like a monster ...

"But I…"

"Go to him, he needs you ..." and with this she leads me into the room.

Bloom, Flora, Sky and Helia are racing to apologize, and Riven, pale and with his neck bruised, nods and tries to smile, but his eyes keep darting from edge to edge of the room, and every fast movement seems to scare him. And when Musa tries to slide a hand on his arm, in a reassuring gesture that I have seen many times, Riven jumps away as if burned, eyes wide and rapid breathing. Musa raises her hands and whispers reassuring "everything's fine, you're safe now ..."

But the monitor next to the bed clearly shows that Riven’s heart still beating fast and scared.

Then Riven notices me, and sighs reassured. In a moment I’m by his side, sitting on his bed, trying to avoid the cables and the IV. He grabs my shirt and hiding his face in the crook my neck. At this I stay still, and look around for help from my friends.

Stella just nods, and then starts pushing everyone out the door "Come on guys, there's nothing to see, let them a bit of space, ok?"

"Stella?" I call it before it comes out, "Thank you for everything, you know?"

The smiles at me, "you still own me a ice cream bucket" And with that she trail off the room.

Riven murmurs something against my shirt. "What?" I ask softly, tilting his head trying to look at him.

"Thank you for sending him away again" repeated, refusing to meet my gaze. Slowly I caress his cheek, and then, seconding an impulse that I carry inside me for too long, I kiss him gently on the forehead, and then the tip of his nose, and at the end chastely on his lips.

"I will always defend you from him, but I have to ask ... Riv, why you didn’t defend yourself?”

"I think…. I think a part of me thinks that he's right ... " There are tears in his eyes as he says so, just as there are in mine. I hold him tight, "I will prove you wrong, that HE is wrong, I promise." He pressed against me as if to disappear in my arms, and I can only rest his cheek on his head and say "I promise".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just say that I have nothing against Flora and Bloom, although sometimes their characters seem a bit flat in their gooders ...  
> I hope you're enjoying this so far!  
> Again, the Winx characters are not mine, I will play just a little '...


	8. epilogue

I spent the last twenty minutes in front of the flower shop, but I can not decide what to buy, Why didn’t I ask Flora? But then, could she has help me? if today is a day Rika, a bouquet of camellias would be perfect, I have often seen her with a camellia flower pinned in her hair, so I know that she likes these, but Riven? Chances are good that he will make me swallow the whole and entire bouquet ...

 

Maybe the orchids? ...

ok, I need help ...

 

She answered on the second ring "Stella, ask Flora what orchids mean in the language of flowers ..."

"Brandon, you are suppose to be in the hospital to take Riven, why are you babbling about orchids?"

"I still have five minutes, and I would’t arrive there empty-handed ..."

"Ok, wait ...." I hear her talks away from the microphone, then returns "white orchids mean 'thank you for letting me being your first*’ 'through the phone I can tell that she’s smiling amused.

"I need another idea .." grumbled

"Yep," my ex-girlfriend, and current best friend tries to hide her laughs, but with poor results.

"Camellias?"

"Wait, let me check ..."

 

I still have three minutes before I have to go to get Riven, but the hospital is just around the corner ... I can do it.

"Brandon are you still there?"

"Yes, tell me"

"Go with camellias ..."

"Aren't you going to tell me the meaning?" I ask worried

"'Eternal devotion between lovers” Her voice has lost the playful tone but still sweet.

"Oh, ok ..." I wonder if she can feel the fear in my voice

"Brandon ... you're doing great, now buy those blessed flowers and go to get him," Yes, she heard it ... But somehow she managed to calm me down a bit '...

As I buy flowers and I walk towards the entrance of the hospital, I think back to the last month and half, how things have changed for our group after the incident with Riven’s father.

Stella and I broke up, and we found ourselves to be best friends, that apparently was what had happened to Musa and Riven before... Musa found a new boyfriend who, according to the girls, has a friend who is interested Stella ... Stella says that we could organize a double-date together as soon as Riven will be ready.

 

I arrived at the entrance, just in time to see my friend approaching, escorted by a nurse. I wasn’t allowed to visit him for the whole time he was here, but I can say that the time spent here has been good for him: his eyes no longer have that troubled look and the dark circles around them are greatly diminished.

Immediately after he was attacked by his father, the doctor requested a psychological consultation. The psychologist reported a gender dysphoria leading into body dysmorphic disorder and emerging anorexia, not too advanced but still worrisome. To put it simply, Riven could not accept his body, and to change it was harming himself.

 

___ FLASHBACK __  
"My professional opinion is that six weeks in a specialized center may help you to work on your issues." The psychologist goes on to explain how that would be just the beginning, but then he could resume school and just see a therapist during the week.

The doctor who is treating Riven is standing next to the psychologist at the end of my friend bed, and nods encouragingly to the suggestion.

In the room there are the two doctors, my friend, Codatorta who is here as Riven’s proxy, and myself, because Riv asked me to be present at this meeting.

Codatorta looks away from doctors and asks cautiously to Riven “Do you want to go?"

My friend's eyes are wide open and full of fear, and then he turns to me and asks if I think he should go. The total fragility in his eyes, the total confidence and his addiction to me is shocking, and all I want to do is protect him and keep him with me forever. But then again, this is not Riven, at least not totally. It would be selfish of me to keep him here with me when he's hurting himself. "I want you to be fine, and if the doctors can help then I think you should go"

His eyes show all his hurt and that almost makes me change my mind, as well as his whisper, "Do you want to send me away?". I hold Riv in my arms and I'm going to start to swear that I’ll never let him go anywhere and that I will never leave him alone, when I realize that I can feel his ribs through his pajamas. 'Anorexia' the doctor said. I know that it doesn’t affects only girls, but I'd never thought to associate this disease to my friend.

but then again, with Sky we had noticed that he was losing weight, why we didn’t say anything before? Why he needed to be attacked by his father for us to take him to see a doctor? Weight loss, depression, how could we have ignore all this?

I pull back, and I take his face in my hands "Riv, I would like to keep you with me forever, but more than that, I want you to be fine, to heal ... You have to go, and then we could be together, okay?"

I didn’t notice I’m crying until Riven dries my cheeks and nods gently "ok, I'll go"

____fine flashback

 

Riven stops a few steps away from me "thanks for coming to get me," says formal.

"I brought you this," I say too embarrassed, pushing the bouquet under his nose

"Oh" it is the only answer I receive at the beginning. But then Riven accept the gift.

Gently caressing a petal and then, without looking away from the flowers, he asks me ”Do you know the meaning of them?”

"Yes," I say gently

He smiles and there, at the entrance of the hospital, in front of doctors and other patients, he kisses me.

I know he is not healed, that there will be way to go before that, but at this time I hug him, and I forget everything else.  


 

 

end

 

___  
*at least, in al the Italian website it’s reported this way. in the English one the meaning is different, but the story was originally in Italian, so I will stuck to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for following folks.


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